Something Doesn't Sit Right With Me
by Detecti7e
Summary: Molly is on the assumption that the majority of her family is homosexual... for each other. Is she wrong or was it all orchestrated? Weasley-cest
1. Fred and George's New Wares

Saturday, December 29 2007 - Good um... night! Sorry it takes so long with teh updating and all. And sorry for all them stories in which I haven't written new material for! I spend time on this story when I finish all my work. I'll put up some updates eventually!

Disclaimer - OMG! I almost never remember to put this up...

* * *

Molly Weasley was not one to be astonished at what her twin sons were doing. They were always impersonating each other, playing pranks on people or inventing crap. 

She then started to doubt herself when one day, while taking Ronald Weasley's soiled laundry downstairs; she heard strange noises coming from their room. It was not the typical BANGS and purple smoke, but a series of squeaks and groans. Molly then decides to investigate later and continue washing the second hand clothes of her youngest son; yes, the one with the emotional range of a teaspoon; the one that likes tea on Tuesdays and wanking on Sundays.

**A couple of splashes and soap bubbles later:**

The whole Weasley family and Harry sat at the dinner table eating and chatting. Molly looked at all of them suspiciously, but finding nothing in particular out of the ordinary, she returned to her meal.

WHAM!

Molly Weasley looked up and saw Harry lying across Ron's stomach. She nearly screamed, until she saw the boy-who-lived choking on a piece of her special broccoli.

"Get him some water!" she finally yelled, causing more chaos within the household.

Fred and George got up at the same time, tripping over each others feet, knocking over the butterbeer, which spilled all over Arthur Weasley's head, who in turn caused a domino effect by pushing the platter of spaghetti on Bill Weasley, who's foot caught on Charlie Weasley's chair, who in turn grabbed onto him, and while slipping over butterbeer, fell over on each other.

The only one left standing, or in this case, sitting, was Molly Weasley, holding a teacup of half drunk tea. Let's see what happened shall we?

Ronald Weasley was still under the chosen one, who was still choking on the evil plant. Arthur Weasley was conked out by hitting his head against the wall after knocking the platter of spaghetti on Bill Weasley, who was trying to get it all off while struggling under Charlie's weight. Charlie Weasley was at present getting rained on by butterbeer, which was leaking Niagara Falls on his head; trying to get up, however, his hand slipped on the warm bubbly drink and knocked them both unconscious.

Fred and George?

Sword fighting with their wands, having a great time while the whole family plus Harry, minus Molly was suffering for their actions.

Where was Ginny in all this?

At her boyfriend's house shagging him silly.

Dinner ruined.

**XXX**

**THE NEXT DAY:**

Molly was petrified; frightened that there would be incest in her kin; scared that if the boys continued to spend time together, they would be inseparable in the future, which results in no girlfriends, which results in no grandchildren, which means that-

"Hey Mom!"

Molly Weasley looked up to find her whole family and Harry, minus Arthur who was at work and Ginny, because she's a whore, decked out in Quidditch attire and holding broomsticks.

"Y-yes?" she stuttered.

Bill, who was the one that called on her asked, "Can we go outside and engage in recreational activities- I mean Quidditch?"

Molly, who was still wondering about the goings-on about her family, replied saucily and just a tad bit firm, "After you de-gnome the garden."

The Weasley brothers groaned in unison and went out to throw around gnomes.

"I'm envious of you" Ron said to Harry.

Alas, Molly was not comforted with the fact that it is summer and that the brothers would have more than adequate time to finish their homework and still have some to expend together.

The more she thought about it, she was sure that if it was with Ginny, she would not have been bothered as much. Therefore, she realized, she was more afraid of homosexuals in the family, especially when it was her sons.

Molly Weasley then decided to check on their son's rooms.

**First up: Bill and Charlie Weasley.**

Opening the door, Molly nearly screamed. She stifled it and sighed. Nothing out of the ordinary, except the fact that, last year, when Bill had a girlfriend, he broke up with her after just one day. It was all rather abnormal, especially since the girl was rather pleasant and pretty. She was about to depart when out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a muggle Japanese comic book. What were they called again? Oh yes. Manga; it depicted two red-headed teenagers on the cover. Not a Manga exactly… a novel from a Manga.

"Ouran High School Host Club the novel: fan-made version." She read from afar. "They probably got it from one of those muggle conventions, those two."

Striding across the room in four steps, she took hold of the innocent Manga/Novel and rifled through the pages. She stopped at a few pages before the last and read in her mind.

"_Now with Haruhi gone, I'll have you all to myself!" shouted Kaoru._

"_But why?" his twin brother backed up against the wall. "You set us up in the first place!"_

"_Because I thought you'd be happy. __Hikaru…"__Kaoru knelt down in front of him. "You always seem dejected when you were with her…I just… I…"_

_Tears fell from his face._

_Hikaru's eyes widened and he crouched down next to him, pulling him towards his body and shielding him from any invisible predators._

_The younger of the twins looked up at him through wet eyes and said, "Will you forgive me?"_

_Smiling, Hikaru answered, "Of course. No matter what you do, I'll always love you. I didn't like Haruhi like that anyway."_

_Kaoru looked down. "I'm so selfish."_

"_I don't care! Don't blame yourself for any reason. I'll be there for you. Even if you do something that I don't like, I'll try and understand…" he pulled his twins head up and kissed him, pushing him to the floor so he would have better access to his body._

_Slipping a hand inside-_

"E-ARGHHHHHHHHAGHHHHHHH?!" Molly Weasley dropped the book and stepped away, screeching.

A few minutes later, she calmed down and replaced the Manga/Novel where it belonged. No, she thought, this doesn't count as evidence.

But it heightened her suspicions, so she searched the sheets of the room to see if anything was out of order.

Damn, nothing.

They must be very good at hiding things…

**Second: Fred and George Weasley**

Molly twitched.

The twin's room was a complete mess. Dirty robes lay stacked against the walls, books and pieces of Zonko's joke items scattered across the floor.

I told them to clean this up, thought Molly; they'll _have_ to do it when they get back or I'll have their heads.

Molly then remembered what she was doing and cleared away some of the mess with her wand. The little patch where she cleaned up look spotless, and in comparison, it was the only place where nothing lay dormant to trip up the unsuspecting victim, though whoever could miss this mess was blind or nearsighted.

And still nothing.

Well, there was something she still had not tried yet.

"_Accio_… um… gayness! Um… _Accio_?!"

It was a disaster. Everything in the room flew at her and she was forced to magically burn some of it.

She dodged some flying socks and shut the door after depleting the spell.

This proves it.

"_MY BOYS ARE __**GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY**_"

But wait, she thought. What about Ron?

Molly tiptoed her way through the doors and up the stairs and entered the youngest brothers' room; nothing completely out of ordinary. Orange cloth and posters hung on the walls and assorted clothing draped on the chairs for later wearing. A few pieces of chocolate frog lay on the desk and the light was on. Molly 'hmph'ed and turned it off.

She looked around some more; nothing. This was extremely strange. Well… there was always the journal that Ron has under the bed of his… Reaching under, she felt around and pulled out a bundle of socks and maroon sweaters.

"So this is where he puts them…" she scolded under her breath.

Pushing her hands through again, she grabbed hold of a square shaped object and brought it through the hanging sheets, dusting it off and nonchalantly flipping through the pages.

_Today is the day that I confess my love._

Molly grinned at sentence, pleased that she found it so easily.

_I wonder if the person whom I shall confess my love to will love me back. I do hope so. I cannot stand to be rejected, not after pining after them for years._

Molly frowned. There was no mention of the name nor gender. She read on.

_Should I sing a song under their window? I am not that good of a singer. The person would probably be freaked out and "avada kadavera" me__ to Jupiter after hearing it._

_Maybe I should lie on their bed naked and wait for them to react. Or should I?_

Molly giggled hysterically. Ron seemed to be more poetic and creative in writing.

_I find life funny sometimes, the way every event in mine always happen differently than I plan it. I have decided. I will not do anything and just subtly bring them in. And _then_ I shall sing under their window or the ever so popular, wrap myself in saran-wrap and wait for them whilst looking like a sex god on ecstasy!_

Molly furrowed her brows. That was the last entry? The rest of the pages were blank. She then noticed a flap in the back that looked like a secret compartment. Pulling it open, pages of the journal flew out and a couple of pictures that are not yet known, because they were facing the floor. She put the book down and reached for the torn out pages.

Just when she was about to read, Ron burst into the room yelling, "Mom, we finished degnoming the gar--"

Ron looked at the pages that were in her hand the pictures that were facing the floor.

"ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Ron screamed.

Molly silenced the room and but a charm on Ron to make him shut up.

"Ron, you never saw this." Molly put a memory charm on him and put the pages and pictures back in the journal, not looking at them, which was probably her biggest mistake right there.

She put it back under the bed and left in a hurry.

Ron woke up and said, "What happened?"

Deciding not to worry about it, he went out to join the others in playing Quidditch.

**XXX**

Molly nearly screamed in frustration. She nearly found something out! Well Ron probably already suspected his journal was in danger unknowingly and had already hid it somewhere else. She was _so_ close! She went down the stairs and decided on making lunch, debating whether or not to dig into this at all.

Maybe I should… they are my babies after all… I have to protect them from the evils of the world. But-

"_Fuck, Charlie_!" Bills voice suddenly came from the bathroom.

"Bloody hell, Bill. Shut up!" Charlie's demanding voice slipped through as well.

Molly's face paled as she walked nearer.

"Who's turn is it to be on top?" Charlie asked suddenly, a little breathy.

"Me… lie down."

Her hand was on the doorknob. It was trembling.

"Shush now."

A whimper was heard and a sigh.

Molly Weasley was extremely afraid for her sanity. She gripped the knob harder, turning her hand pasty yellow.

"I'm going to… ngggh…"

"… Quiet."

A load cry was heard and another sigh.

"Damn… that was definitely better than yesterday…"

"Not my fault… those goblins are crazy when it comes to their fair share of gold! They nearly killed me yesterday."

She turned the door knob and hesitated on opening.

"Come on, we better put our robes back on before anybody finds us. We're supposed to be out in the Quidditch field anyway…"

"Che… every time we do this, your voice looses its edginess."

"What? You want me to cuss you off? Trust me; I know a lot more swear words than about nursing baby dragons."

"I'm not saying that. Okay then. Let's get dressed."

"Ow!"

"What? Did I go too fast?"

"Shut up."

Molly's hand was still on the knob, half turned. She decided it was safe to open the door.

She opened the bathroom door and peered in hesitantly.

…

The bathroom was empty… and the window was open. She had blown her chance.

"Hey mom?" a voice suddenly entered her hearing range. "Can Fred and I go to Zonko's?"

Molly turned around and gave them her fiercest glare. "No. You know why? Because you two have not been doing your share of the house work lately! Now go wash the whole house, top to bottom! Clean your own room too. It's dirty and smelly and you bloody damn well obey me or you get no luxury in this household!"

The twins shrank back in shock and backed up.

"Mother, I think you're being horribly unfair." Charlie's voice floated over to them.

"No, I do not think so! You two! You have not been doing anything these past few days! Charlie! Go cook dinner! Bill! Go mow the lawn; muggle style! Fred, help Charlie cook! George; go somewhere and clean!" Molly gasped and heaved. "And when you're all finished, Fred and George, you will set out to do what I told you to do before these arses came into the picture!"

"But mom… I cook better than Charlie." Bill hesitantly piped up. "And he always burns the soup…"

Molly stopped breathing heavily and looked at him, suspiciously.

The oldest of the seven shivered and hurriedly said, "But I guess Fred can teach him the basics. Bye!"

They all scattered and attended their chores leaving a scared Molly Weasley and her qualms to form in her head; not like they needed forming.

After standing there for a few minutes, a knock came from the front door and she hesitated, wondering who it could be (whoever it was, was hammering on the poor piece of wood urgently); however, before she could take a step, Ron came stumbling down the stairs and into the hall where she stood, heading toward the insistent hollow noise and opening the wooden door, which turned out to be...

"Percy!" Molly cried. Percival Weasley was one of the most straight necked, straight A-ed, straight backed, sexually straight person on the earth. There was no _way _PERCY would ever sink to low enough that he would resort to sexually molesting the currently gay males in the family. He would be the most likely candidate for a pretty wife and he would have pretty kids, then grandchildren and great-grandchildren and so-on.

Molly grinned enthusiastically. There was hope yet!

"Percy!" Molly cried again, striding the length of the hall and into the ambitious curly-haired mans' arms, giving him a bear hug. "I'm glad you're back! How was work?"

Percy smiled stiffly and replied, "It was rather boring. You see, there were five assailants that caused many problems within the Goblin Industry units. Many people were harmed and it was my trade to call the Aurors and sanitize the area; there was plenty of blood you see. Four of the five was apprehended, one dead and it was a job well done in my opinion. I could have improved on the cleaning; however, such menial tasks are beneath me."

Molly's hope sunk. Any girl or woman would have to be insane to marry the man. But at least he wasn't gay, right?

Suddenly, she was pushed away.

"Wha-…?" She stuttered at such mannerisms. No, the girl that would get hitched with him would have to have been to St. Mungo's weekly and insane many folds. Well… at least he isn't gay, right?

"Perce!" Ron came from behind the door which he was shoved by Molly. "How was your day?"

Percy smiled warmly and leaned against the wall, closing the battered door behind him. "Well Ron. Why don't you tell me about yours?"

"Okay. Well Fred and George were bothering me while you were away and I told them to stop, but they didn't-"

Percy frowned at this.

"-so I went and slept on the couch for a few hours until it was dinner, then degnomed the garden with the guys and played Quidditch. And-"

"Okay Ron. I get it. You spent half your day doing nothing and overall did nothing but throw gnomes around and play Quidditch. Not a very exciting day if you know what I mean. But you better be careful. If you get a concussion or fall off your broomstick, I'll wait until you heal to beat the shit out of you."

"Ok! Ok, ok! No need to get violent!"

"So, what's for dinner?"

Ron led him away. "I forgot, but I don't think anything is left, 'cause all the food fell on the floor."

Molly was about to hyperventilate. Scratch that. She was already doing it.

"_**ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-UGH-EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKK**_!!"

Footsteps came from al directions and soon all the red-headed males were standing right in front of her, waving their arms and yelling at the top of their low male voices; some hoarse and some pitch.

"Mom, what's wrong?" said Bill and Charlie, how charming.

"Mother, what has happened?" said Percy, how stiff and cracked he is.

"Um… the person who takes care of the family and gave birth to us, do you need to lie down?" said Fred and George, how foolhardy they are.

"Mum, do you need to go to St. Mungo's?" said Ron, how insensitive he is.

"Mom!"

"Mom!"

"Mother!"

"Mum!"

"Mother?!"

Molly cracked.

"_YOU FREAKING HOMOS! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME_!"

"Mo-"

She fainted.

**XXX**

In the Twins' Room:

"Wow, Fred." George exclaimed merrily. "Your illusion-drop worked like a charm; and better yet; she didn't even realize that we dropped it in her tea when we destroyed the dinner yesterday."

"Ah George my man; all this credit doesn't go to me alone." Fred lamented.

"Then I'll take it back."

"But you know what bothers me most, George?"

"What?"

"It's that illusion-drop we put in tea her depicts something that could be true. I haven't perfected it and when I put it in her drink, I thought mom would wake up to see us messing up the house or something. What bothers me is that she was a homophobe and we were subjects to her imagination. It also means that we could all be gay, right now."

"… Wait… _what_?!"

"I said that the illusion-drop was meant to freak the victim out with something realistic. I mean, you don't put it in Ron's pumpkin juice and expect him to see puffs of white clouds, right? You want him to see spiders!"

George twitched. "I bet you can't prove that we're all gayer than rainbows."

Fred sighed. "I hoped we wouldn't come to this…"

He started to strip slowly. His shirt disappeared and soon his hands were on his belt buckle.

"Fred! What the devils are you doing?" George exclaimed incredulously.

"Why, George," Fred said slyly. "I'm just showing you a good time."

His pants fell to his ankles and his hands were teasingly pulling down his knickers.

"Oh wait!" Fred stopped. "I can't be the only one going naked. Come on Georgie!"

"FRED!" George freaked. He turned around and started wringing his hands, making him look like an idiot muggle trying to cast a spell.

Arms came around from behind him and started unbuttoning his shirt.

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em, George sighed in his head.

"Ok Fred, I can do this myself."

Fred perked up. "Ah, caught on the spirit now, have you? If this feels good to you right now, you might be gay after all."

"You moron…"

George threw his pants off and picked slowly at his underwear, while Fred lay on their bed waving at the ceiling with one hand and turning the light on and off with his other. He looked across the room and sighed. Everything was still in it's little puddle of chaos, excluding a weird, foreign clear patch surrounded by burnt objects.

I wonder who's going to cook the dinner, Fred wondered. Mom's out cold. Can Dad cook? Nah; Maybe Percy… not Charlie; Bill's not that bad, but he can't make dessert. Ron? Haha. Ginny's probably away right now. So who else? Maybe-

"_Ahhh_!" Fred cried as George pounced on him. He dropped his wand and the light switched off one more time and stayed like that.

"Hello Fred." George lay on top of him while his hands were balancing his chin; his elbows were digging into the bed sheets. "What now?"

"How the bloody hell should I know?" Fred groaned. "Maybe we should test this out before we jump in and take the cake."

George poked his twin's groin, "You don't seem to be doing anything."

"Well, it's rather strange to have your twin having sexual relations with you. It's like staring into your reflection and screwing it. Also, it's like masturbating. You have to have a reason to masturbate; you see a hot girl undressing and you get a hard-on. When you look in the mirror after taking a shower, you feel like drawing on the fog. You'd have to be narcissus to be able to get off on yourself."

"Well then why did you say we might all be gay for each other?"

"Because that- argh, whatever. Apparently you weren't listening when I explained the functions of the illusion-drop."

"Ok, ok! How 'bout this then?" George picked up Fred's wand and summoned a quill dripping in ink; which color it is, no one knows, because they're in the dark.

He wrote a large "F" on Fred's face and drew a backwards "G" on his. "How's this Freddie?"

"Amusing Georgie."

The twin at the top started poking the others' genitals again and this time, there was some reaction. Fred grew red and George smirked, using all his fingers to drag across his stomach and down.

"So we might be homos after all."

**XXX**

Ron sighed in his head. His mum was being weird and he was having pretty strange feelings for his older brother, Percy.

"Hey, Percy?" Ron drew his attention shyly.

They were currently sitting in his room, many Chudley Cannons posters and colors, an' all. He was on the floor and Percy sat in a chair with his left leg piled neatly on top of the other.

"Yes Ron? Is there anything wrong?"

"Well, I was wondering… um…" Ron stuttered. "Um… do you like me?"

"Of course, we're family after all."

"Um… I mean… like, you know… uh… like."

"What do you mean?"

Ron was waving his arms around wildly and trying to explain, which is, I hereby say it, nearly impossible for one such as him. "Eh, well, you know… uh…"

"Ron, are you sick, a fever perhaps?" Percy stood up and strode over to him, laying a hand on his forehead. "No, you don't seem to be having a fever."

"_I'm not sick_!" Ron cried out. "I'm just wondering if you love me! And not just like family, ok?!"

Percy was speechless. He hesitated and put an arm around him. "Yes, I guess I do. Sometimes you are more mature than the others and that's what I like about you. I know you make mistakes and people criticize you for it. Yes, I love you, but it's forbidden to love your brother in that way. If this gets out, it could be the biggest scandal since the warlock tax massacres in 1789."

Ron closed his eyes tight and sighed, relieved and confused at the same time.

**XXX**

Mr. Weasley had had a bad day at work. So far, the record stands at Aurors arresting him for trying to drown in ink, and a testimony for a stolen chocolate bar which was left unattended in the loser's staff room. Sometimes, he wondered why he even bothered waking up in the mornings. For Authur Weasley, life sucked, big time.

"Hey kids! I'm home!" Mr. Weasley tried half-heartedly to smile. He had to look like he enjoyed tinkering around in a brainless job and playing with stupid muggle contraptions, of which he only knew an insignificant amount of how it works.

Giggling was heard from above. "George, you're insane!"

"No Fred it's you."

"Maybe we're both crazy!" Twin voices shouted at once.

"Ron! Do your work. How do you expect to keep up the prefect title with such low marks? You need major improvement in Potions, Herbology, and Transfiguration. The ministry would never accept you. Charms! You are merely scraping a pass and with such dire grades, your whole life is going to fall down around you and you're going to be one of those bum-wizards that sit on the streets doing nothing but drink cheap fire-whisky out of a paper bag."

"Well it's not my fault! The teachers all have it in for me. They probably set the marks in advance and pick out a random number from a box. Hermione is the luckiest person, I say."

"No, that's not how teachers grade you. You have to put an effort into everything and if you don't then, you'd be more likely to end up dead in the gutter sometime in the future."

"Well-"

Mr. Weasley sighed. His own children, whom he raised and provided for, however poorly, didn't even bother answering him. "KIDS!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

The Burrow was dead silent and then tentatively, the stairs began thumping and the figures' eyes stared at him from behind the stairwell.

"GOOD EVENING. It's _so_ nice to have your _own children_ greet you as you come back _home_, no?"

"We're sorry, Dad. We couldn't hear you." Percy looked so fly and Ron stood ramrod straight as the whole assembly of brothers flustered around. Bill was a tiny bit red and Charlie looked like a wind blown piece of paper. Fred and George… were naked.

"I'm not even going to ask," he told them.

He walked up the stairs grumpily and disappeared into "the Parents" room. And he walked out again.

"Why is you mother unconscious in there?" Mr. Weasley was getting more pissed by the millisecond.

"Um… well, Mum said and I quote, "_YOU FREAKING HOMOS! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME_!" and then she fainted.

"Fred, George, what the bloody hell did you do to her?!" he shouted automatically.

"Aw, we just put a new product into her tea yesterday. We didn't do any harm; she just saw some strange things is all."

"Drugs?"

"Nope!"

Mr. Weasley sighed and escaped back to the bedroom. Sometimes things were not worth the effort. The twins included.

"Hey Fred?"

"Yes George?"

"Shouldn't Harry wake up by now? It's been a day and a half."

"I slipped some of the illusionment potions into his soup."

"Oh you remind me of me sometimes, Fred."

"How lovely, George."

"Should we put some clothes on now?"

"I'm relatively fine with wearing nothing. You?"

"I'm good."

The stairs thumped again as the brothers attended their forbidden business.

A groan was heard from the couch.

"Where am I?" asked Harry Potter.

He was answered with squeaks, moans, slaps and explosions coming from upstairs.

"Ow… my head…"

* * *

Like it? I sure enjoyed writing it. It was like... 9 pages and 1/15 in size 12 font in Microsoft. I might put up a bonus chapter here. I just need requests. I hope you don't vote on the explicit stuff. I'm not good at those. Mweehee...

The Ever So Sarcastic MeowMeow66 X3


	2. Firewhiskey Blues

October 2/08 - Woot! The second chapter! Since everyone liked the story so much and everyone want a little bit more, I decided that I should comply. Here we go guys! And request another chapter if you want one.

There's a little bit more words than the last chapter :)

* * *

Walking in clouds was always fun. Right now, she was having the time of her life; in the clouds…

Damn it… what was that noise? Ah… Fred and George. I wonder what they're doing in my clouds…

She walked miles through the drifting fog and into a fancily decorated room; too fancy for her to afford. A varnished mahogany dresser stood against a fine cherry wood wall and long velvet curtains, full of everlasting colors and soft to the touch, hung from the ceiling, rippling from unfelt wind. The room was long, like a hall and the clouds came from the outside to sweep around on the polished dark blue tiles. Other than the dresser and the curtains, there was nothing here.

"Oh Fred… gimme more… ah…"

That was surely George's voice. What were they doing?

She came around the last curtain and stared. What? _What_? _WHAT_?!

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH_!!" Molly Weasley woke up. Her heart was beating roughly against her chest and her stomach was churning the remains of her dinner.

"Molly?" Arthur Weasley's voice reached her in her panicked state. "What's wrong?"

She stared at him through wide eyes and began to blubber incoherent words at him.

Arthur sighed, patting her on the back and then said, "I'll go make some tea." He left her in the room and walked briskly downstairs, taking note that there was no sound whatsoever in the Burrow. He looked around. There was no one in sight.

How peculiar…

Finally, a sound came from the couch as Arthur began making tea in the kitchen. From his view, he saw two arms stretching to the ceiling and a pair of bare feet dangling over the arm rest. Suddenly, thumps and snaps were heard from upstairs. There was a whole lot of creaking. Faintly, he heard Molly scream and something rip.

"Where am I? ... Ow… my head…" Harry Potter's voice came from the couch. It was weary and cracked. It sounded drugged.

_What _was going on here?

He put the lid back onto the teapot and took it, along with some teacups, upstairs. The noise stopped as soon as he reached the first landing and quiet breathing was heard from the rooms as he pressed his ear against each one of them. Nothing really unusual was happening. His first impulse was to open the doors, but he beat it down and continued to his and Molly's room.

Since he forgot to close the door, it was left wide open; framed by the doorway, Molly looked like the figure from "The Scream" in Edvard Munch's painting. Her knuckles were whiter than Albus Dumbledore's beard and she was clutching a ripped blanket.

"Here Molly; I've brought some tea." He coaxed her into taking the teacup.

"… Dear?" she whispered, wide-eyed. "Can you go check on the children for me?"

He looked at her as though she were a mandrake. "Why sure. I don't know why you're so worried about them. They're all grown up."

"No… I mean…" he eyes dilated and she shivered. "You know… just in case…"

Arthur sighed and put the tea on the bedside table. "Well… if it calms your nerves."

He decided to check Ron's room first since it was on the top floor. He'll work his way to the bottom.

**XXX**

Harry Potter rolled off the couch and looked around. It was scarily quiet for a house with seven children. He tried to get on his feet, but didn't succeed; he hit his head on the floor instead.

"Why… am I… so dizzy…?" Harry crawled into the kitchen and looked around. The pots and pans were in the sink, and instead of washing themselves, they were dripping in different sauces and soup. Plates of leftovers were lined up on the small dining table and covered with a preserving charm, since in the wizarding world, there were no refrigerators.

Deciding that there was nothing interesting in the kitchen, he crawled to the stairs. His head started to beat along with his heart and suddenly, as soon as it had come, it stopped.

"Eh…?" He felt sick.

Harry climbed up the stairs on his hands and knees, having a little trouble, because they were very narrow.

Forget it, he lay on one of the landings and closed his eyes. With the last consciousness that his mind exerted, he wondered where his glasses were.

**XXX**

"Hey Fred?" George Weasley was wondering if his twin was awake.

"Yea?" Fred Weasley replied tiredly. "What's up?"

"Do you wanna go grab something to eat? I'm starving!"

Fred stared at the ceiling and chewed on a piece of the blanket they were sharing. "I feel in the mood for some whiskey."

"Firewhiskey?"

"Nah, muggle." Fred rolled on top of him and smirked. "Why don't we go get some and open our shop? We haven't been over there in days."

"I suppose we should. But you can't buy things in the muggle world with Galleons."

"Aw well. Firewhiskey it is!" Fred got off of him and put his shirt on. Then he fell over.

"Freddie?" George sat up.

"I can't feel my legs! Hurry and floo St Mungo's!"

"Well what'd you expect? You don't get used to sex until after your third time!" He threw off the blanket and grabbed his trousers.

"Oh bloody hell… I forgot."

"Don't worry; you'll feel your bloody legs in a few minutes." George's eyes twinkled. He liked the view; a naked Fred with an unbuttoned shirt sloppily put on.

"How do you know this?" Fred reclined on a pile of yellow boxes.

"I'm guessing."

"Moron. If I die, it's going to be your fault."

"But I'm a good guesser!" He whined. He put on his shirt and started to button it.

Minutes passed between them in silence and then Fred stood up and started jogging in place to test his movement.

"Do you think there will be trouble in the future if you forget to use protection spells?" the older twin asked nonchalantly.

George laughed at the sudden question. "Don't ask me! This is not my expertise, you know."

"Bah! How useless."

"Oi!"

**XXX**

"Percy…" Ron Weasley squealed, wiggling about.

"Hm…?" Percy Weasley replied, looking away from his ministry report.

"Kill that spider! Now!"

He looked over to where Ron pointed and saw a small black arachnid with long spindly legs. "That thing?"

"Kill it!" Ron cowered into a little corner as the little thing advanced.

Percy picked up a large, old transfiguration textbook from Ron's school supply pile and threw it.

SLAM

"Gone." He returned to his work and put in two more paragraphs, before Ron put his hands on his shoulders. He looked to the side and saw Ron peering at his report.

"Cauldron leakage? Again?" He said incredulously.

"The third one this week. I'm basically just rewriting everything from the last report I sent. I think it's because the uppers overlook it if they don't get an official document on the subject."

"Boring!"

"Don't you have homework to do?"

"Well… sort of. I'm waiting until Hermione gets here and then I guess she'll help me. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen Harry since yesterday. Bloody hell, I hope nothing horrible gets into the Burrow. Anything's possible with Harry Potter in the house."

"Ron, Ron, Ron… you're not going to get ahead in life if you constantly mess about. I do hope you are not intending to copy off of Hermione Granger, because copying causes restrictions in your creativity and half your brain will probably shut down. You better get a head start now, or you'll be victim to various brains diseases that attack the central nervous system which will, in your future life, cause you to be a cripple. Did you know that one twentieth of St. Mungo patients-"

"I get it already! Okay, how about I do homework with Harry instead? He's got about the same knowledge as me, so there's no gain!"

"Don't change the subject with Harry Potter. I am fairly disappointed with you. Also I've got to finish my report, so- mmf."

Some things are better left unsaid.

**XXX**

Arthur Weasley gave a huge gasp.

He was really getting too old for the stairs. Having sevens floors worth of installments not only cost him a mighty sum, it wasn't even worth it to walk up them. Now muggles are smarter. They may be mighty dense, but they sure know how to do stuff. What was it called again… "emmalavtor"? "Exlerator?" Well… the shiny box that brings people up and down. He limped up to Ron Weasley's room and opened the door… only to find what shocked him out more than muggles with their shiny boxes.

Ron Weasley was doing homework!

He looked around the room to see if there was any telltale sign that an enchantment was cast upon his youngest sons' residence, but only found Percy sitting at Ron's desk with a report on Cauldron Leakage.

Percy looked up.

"Why, good evening father." He drawled stiffly. "Is there any reason as to why you barged into this room unannounced?"

"Oi! What are you doing in my room?" Ron yelled out rudely.

"For your information, Percy, I was just checking to see if you're all safe and well," murmured Arthur shyly. "And Ron, watch your tone."

Staring at him perplexedly, Percy asked, "Why do you need to check? It's not like you-know-who is roaming around."

"Ahem." Arthur fidgeted. He always felt undermined when talking with his third son. "You never know when Lucius Malfoy might kidnap you; it's good to be safe."

"But-"

"Alright, that's _enough_!" He felt as if beating around the bush was useless with Percy Weasley. "_I'm_ the adult here. I felt I should check on you kids just in _case_. If you _ever_ feel the need to try and rise over me, then just tell me; I'll remember to help you pack your trunks when I kick your sorry _arse_ out of here!"

"…" Percy looked down at his report, breaking eye contact, and turned a page over making a "shf" sound. "Alright then…"

Arthur was breathing heavily. He turned around and walked through the open door, pausing long enough to say, "I'm sorry I yelled. Have a good day." and closed the door.

What has gotten into me today? He thought, deeply unnerved by what he had just done.

He shook his feelings off and tiredly stomped down the stairs. Well, no time to dwell on that, he thought.

Bill and Charlie's room was next.

**XXX**

"Hey Bill, what in Merlin's name is this?" Charlie Weasley asked from under his bed; he was searching for his summer robes. He climbed out and held it up.

"I wonder…" Bill looked at it suspiciously. "It looks like one of Fred and George's instant sickness pills."

"I never thought of that." Charlie furrowed his brow. "What do you make of it?"

"Well, I don't make anything out of it. Perhaps it's one of their experimental meds… In which case, it would probably be dangerous. Why is it under your bed anyways?"

"If I had the probability of knowing that, I would not be asking you what it is…"

"Oh."

"So…" Charlie broke the short silence. "Do you want to know what it is?"

"… Yes?"

"Is there any revealing spells you know that could help?"

"I know a couple. I open tombs for a living after all." Bill leaned closer.

"Okay… start."

He tapped the small pill with his wand and murmured a spell. Nothing happened. He raised an eyebrow and continued on tapping at it with his wand; guttural noises came from his mouth with the forth tap. It started to glow in an odd sort of pink.

Crack.

It shattered. Now that it was a fine powder, it looked less harmful, but Bill still didn't trust it; especially when it started to turn funny colors and emit a thin stream of red smoke… which was slowly engulfing them.

"Wha-?" Charlie's eyes widened.

Bill suddenly felt extremely drowsy. The foremost thing that he thought of when he blacked out was, "Look at all the colors, Charlie. _The colors_…"

Bill woke up with a start. Weird, he thought, what kind of dream was that?

"What were you dreaming about?" asked a voice beside him. Bill froze.

When he dared to look, he found sharp brown orbs staring into his own. He almost let out a huge sigh, but instead, he let his gaze wander around the room and then to his hands, which were wrapped around his wand tightly. Too much to drink perhaps, he thought, with a slight change of expression; but I didn't have anything… yesterday _or_ today.

He started telling Charlie about his very detailed but somehow insane hallucination.

Thinking quickly back to his old divination classes with Trelawney, Charlie replied with, "The colors mean that you're homo. We know that already. But the origin of the colors was the pill, which means that you're gay because of Fred and George and a pill was what they used to achieve that. I'm in your dream because the one you're gay for is me. It was under my bed, so that means it affected me first _or_ it was purely coincidental and that has nothing to do with the rest of the dream. You are holding your wand, because in the future, there will be a great debate. You blacked out inside your dream; that means you're going to wake up; from what, I don't know. I'm not sure why you had that dream, but I pulled most of the meanings out. Perhaps it also means that your sexual orientation has only been altered for a specific time period, in which case, it will probably end soon."

As he finished the last sentence, he looked down in embarrassment and shame. So this was only temporary; does that mean… all things that were said will be forgotten?

Bill crawled out of his blankets and stumbled out of bed to hang off on Charlie's shoulders. "You don't have to think before you talk. All that stupid dream crap you said right now was absolute rubbish. Fred and George might have the brains, but even they can't make me love you like I do. Divination is stupid. Even if you were right, I don't think I can ever forget that I like you and only you.

"I remember when we were back in school and all the girls were running after you because you had just been made Quidditch captain. I didn't just let you get slaughtered, did I?"

"That was some good speech you got there." Charlie smiled slyly. "But if I remember correctly, you were the one who tossed me into them and then you rescued me because I said that I would do the same with your diary."

"It's not a diary! It's a journal."

"Yea, I believe you."

**XXX**

Arthur reached the landing and he sighed as his hand touched the doorknob. Here goes nothing. He opened the door and cautiously looked around. There was almost nothing to look at, since everything was packed away into closets, drawers and trunks.

On the floor, he found Bill and Charlie. He gaped.

"Those are the pictures I couldn't find! Why didn't you say that you had them when I asked?" Arthur asked, looking on from behind them. Wonderful school pictures they were. The only copies.

"Oh. We just wanted to keep them longer, because we like looking at them." Charlie flipped the album page, "Hey! I remember this!"

Arthur left them to it. It was so nice to see that they were remembering things. Just like when he won the Muggle Racing Medal; running was hard when you're a wizard (all you had to do was apparate). He couldn't stop looking at it for days. And then his mother told him to go to sleep.

**XXX**

Fred sipped at his firwhiskey, flipping through a purple and yellow Weasley's Wizard Weazes pamphlet. They were currently in a secluded corner in the pub that led to Diagon Alley; The Leaky Cauldron.

"We need to update this." He said, wincing as the fiery liquid, once again, slid down his esophagus. "The Witch's Lustry Dream Kit. That's too old for our shop now. We can replace that with The Wizard's Pornographic Dreamscape."

"How about we just sell them both as a set?" George suggested, looking over Fred's shoulder. "Since the "Witch" thing was old, and we don't produce it anymore, we can sell it as a limited offer. And since we can combine it with the "Wizard" thing, we can sell them both for more than it cost us to make them."

"Oh, you're so smart." He held up his glass. "How about a toast?"

"To our shop!"

Clink.

They both drank deeply and grimaced.

"Ouch! Don't you think that this stuff is stronger than usual?"

"Hey George? How about a challenge?"

"What is it, Fred?"

"Whoever drinks one bottle of firewhiskey in under ten seconds is on the top next time."

"Hey no fair! We both know that you're the fastest drinker here!"

"But you were on top the last time! Come on George! Be a sport!"

The younger twin rolled his eyes and smirked. "How about we add a little more to the challenge?"

"Go on…" Fred folded up the pamphlet from the shop and put it into his pocket. He knew his twin's idea would only entice him further into the game.

"Wanna test out the Surprise Handcuffs while we're at it? Or maybe the Chains of Greed? I was also thinking about using the slanted wall instead of the bed on the second floor."

"Oh yea." The older twin was feeling the need to win; the same need that he always felt when he played Quidditch at Hogwarts. He took another sip of his firewhiskey. "You really want that don't you? You were always rather kinky…"

"You know me so well. Good thing we checked out that Wizarding sex shop, eh?"

"Though it was supposed to be a joke for Percy. I hope he doesn't mind if we use them before we give it to him."

"I'm sure he won't."

They both smiled and asked the passing bartender for a bottle of firewhiskey each.

**XXX**

Arthur Weasley gasped again as his foot collided with the last step. He gripped Fred and George's doorknob and put all his weight on it to catch his breath.

I didn't think I'd be this out of shape, he thought.

A few minutes later, he turned the knob and waited for something to spring at him from the deep dark messy corners of the room. He opened his eyes and stared at the contents. There was nothing here.

Strange, he thought.

Fred and George were obviously out. Everything was in a complete chaos mode, but what else do you expect from Fred and George; they were still in their teenage school years. Piles of clothing lay on the floor like leaves on grass from an autumn day. Pieces of old biting teacups from their school days almost grew from the ground in an array of harmless enchanted glass, and boxes of untested joke products filled the room out like it was a muggle warehouse.

Nothing really out of the ordinary, he thought to himself again.

He was about to leave when something caught his eye.

Is that what I think it is? He said to himself as he went for a closer look.

Seeping deep into the both of the twins sheets was a sticky white substance… why, it could easily have been mistaking for-

Arthur put his face about three inches away from the offending liquid and examined it with all his might. There were stains like this all over the bed. On George's bed, there were the same marks.

Well, they _were_ teenage boys after all. Even adults sometimes-

Arthur stepped away from the mattresses and opted for an overall view. He wouldn't even have noticed the stains if the light from the open window hadn't shed its brilliant shine on it. It blended in pretty well with the almost white sheets.

But it was fresh. Was that what the noises were from before? Where are the twins now?

He stepped father back from the room and took another look. There seemed to be too much of it for just one person at any one given time. They did it many times before. The quantity of it does not add up to just one time. It just doesn't.

Unless…

Arthur Weasley's eyes grew in diameter and size. Was _this _what Molly was hyperventilating about? If he was so sure about it, he would have ran out of the room; since he wasn't, though, he continued to stare at the offending stains and contemplate what he should do in this type of situation. On the other hand, he could be just a tad bit overboard with the assumptions; it _could_ have been just their idea of a joke. It could also be stains from pastries, even. But…

Okay. So he deduced that they were gay. But with whom. And how many partners? He wasn't against it, but it really soiled the Weasley name. And after all the hard work he put in digging up the family from its trenches, it's about to be thrown back in, in an array of homosexual sex.

Or maybe they just did _that_ too freely… and they weren't gay after all. They just needed girlfriends. He secretly wished that the girls they brought home would have diseases in which they would not be able to produce babies; it'd help a lot in explaining to the girls' parents…

Arthur Weasley sighed and left the room, closing the door fully behind him. He was thinking too much on it and he should just give up, until he had all the facts. His sons were well rounded people. Things like this… well, it shouldn't surprise him. Really.

Okay, now his inner voice was just being annoying.

He went back upstairs and sighed along the way. He really despised the stairs. And life was just being too complicated right now. And he wished the Ministry would just disappear.

Just disappear.

**XXX**

Just about reaching his and Molly's room, he stopped and considered telling her about what he saw; which by all means, wasn't much. He crossed out that option mentally and went in, swearing to himself that if he ever spilt the beans to her, he would end his own life; which was on his to do list. What else could he do? His life was over since the very second that he was born into this world:

His family background was poor.

People always made fun of his tattered robes at school; hell, Lucius Malfoy makes crummy jokes about his robes as an _adult_ outside of school!

He works at an underpaid, extremely crappy job in the Muggles department.

He had seven children, all of which did not appreciate his hard work to help them grow up to be "top of the line" men.

Molly was always yelling about something or another, and proof of her craziness this time was her homophobic tantrum.

I'll be darned if I live past sixty, he thought, strumming his hands across his heart which was sure to stop any day now.

A small sound reached his ears and he looked up. "Did you check on them, dear?"

Molly Weasley's voice was not fidgety or completely out of control anymore. The ripped blanket that was clutched in her hands before he left lay around her in pools. Overall, the atmosphere was normal, and he wasn't about to break the normalness.

"Of course I did, Molly dear." He said in confidence, despite how he felt now. "There was nothing wrong with them. Ron was actually doing homework. _And_ I found the old photo album of Bill and Charlie's school years, in their room. Fred and George were out and probably working in their shop. I'm sure there's nothing going on, so there's no need to make a fuss."

"Good." She said, her shoulders slumping in relief. She entwined her fingers into the teacup handle and drank the cold tea in two gulps. "Well, I'll be up and running in a few minutes."

Arthur let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"What ever has happened to Harry?" she asked innocently. "I haven't heard from him in… well, I don't know how long."

"I'm pretty sure the dark lord got to him…" he muttered quietly to himself, in a bored, sarcastic tone.

"What was that?" Molly suddenly snapped.

"I said, I'm going to go check on him." He said hastily. He turned on his heel and sprinted out the door, hoping to God (if there was one) that Harry Potter was still alive. Not that God was very fond of him either, by the looks of his current life.

Just do me this one favor, you hairy-faced son of a-

He stopped in mid step as he digested what he was seeing.

Harry Potter lay half naked on a landing that connected two sets of staircases. His shirt was partway unbuttoned and he lay in his underwear briefs; his school trousers were messily thrown just beside his twitching legs, and he was occasionally moving his hands all around his tiny frame, hitting all the sensitive spots his body has to offer. He shivered when his hands brushed against his private area, which was erect and trying to burst out of the constraints of his undergarments. He was moaning.

"_FRED_! _GEORGE_!!"

**XXX**

The twins both sneezed at the exact same moment, spraying each other from head to toe with firewhiskey.

"Bloody hell! It hurts even when it comes through your nose!" George coughed.

Fred, who was able to withstand all alcohol, was calmer then his brother as a fire seemed to sear through his cartilage. It was only the beauty of firewhiskey. And the pro of the situation was that George was wet. And a wet George was strikingly hot.

I'm such a horny lad, he thought delightfully, watching his brother. He drank from his bottle once again and drained it. Fifteens seconds; it was higher than usual, but at least George hadn't finished his.

He bent closer to George's ear and blew a tiny current of air into it. "So whatsit George? You're due for a good shagging…"

His twin smirked at him slyly and then swigged the rest of the firewhiskey. "On the table?"

As to illustrate his point, he crawled on top of it onto his back and spread his legs, feigning a seductive expression. He unbuttoned the first couple of buttons on his shirt with one hand and dragged his hands across the flesh, making slightly erotic sounds as he did so.

"Oh Fred," he whimpered dramatically. "Fred, my dear twin. Take me now!"

"Georgie, don't tempt me." Fred was grinning.

"Wanna get a room? Or maybe we should go to our shop?"

"I'd say our shop, but it _would_ be fun to watch the people's faces as I insert my manliness into you right here and now."

"Oh you naughty boy, you."

As of right now, no one was paying attention to the little grimy corner. George was almost enticed into doing what Fred had suggested: screwing on top of the table with the crowd to see. They would watch as he made the little sounds that excited Fred all the lot more; they would watch as Fred screamed obscenities and do it all the more faster; they would watch as they both emptied their seeds on each other; and sometimes, Fred might lick some of it off with his tongue.

"What are you thinking Georgie my boy?" Fred snapped him out of his fantasies.

"I was just thinking about how the crowd would react to our… activities." George replied sheepishly, shifting a little closer so that Fred could have more access to his body.

"I can see that," His brother leaned over him and poked at the bulge beginning to form in his pants.

"Okay, brother my dear; I'm all good and horny now. This would be a very good time to seduce me into-"

"Oh don't say it!" Fred whined. "You just made me very…"

George reached over his head to unbutton Fred's shirt and play with a nipple. Fred complied.

"I think we should head over to the shop, George."

"Me too, but I'm still not moving from this spot."

A sudden outburst suddenly shook the quiet muttering of the pub. "Oh my gawd!"

All heads turned toward the person. "Look! Those are the Weasley twins! Look what they're doing!!"

The heads soon turned towards the small corner. George was stuck in his upside down pose on the table with Fred's nipple in hand. Fred himself was standing over him with his hands in his brother's pants.

"Do ya think they had too much to drink?" said a nearby witch to another.

A snap and a puff of smoke was heard and seen. "This is _so_ going in the _Daily Prophet_!"

Fred and George's expressions were comical.

**XXX**

On the cover of the _Daily Prophet_ that morning, the twins' faces were promiscuously smirking out at them, daring to do more in the photograph than what they had actually done in the Leaky Cauldron.

_**THE WEASLEY TWINS PARTAKE IN INCEST?!**_ The words blazed up at them from the paper.

"Now _this_ is what I call free advertisement!" Fred exclaimed appreciatively, clapping his brother on the back.

"Business is going to be booming today!" George said. "Not to mention, every bloke's got a bit of free porn. I never knew I could be that arousing..."

Molly Weasley peaked over their shoulder to see what the fuss was about and choked.

"WHAT DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING IN THE PAPER?!" she screamed; then she fainted.

Arthur Weasley had taken Harry Potter to St Mungo's yesterday to see what was wrong with him and it turned out that the pill that the twins slipped him was one of their untested products. He had never been so mad. He had come back with a confused and embarrassed Harry Potter in a tow and had yelled at them for endangering the boy-who-lived's life. Percy just scoffed at their immaturity and Ron stared. Bill and Charlie just got a good laugh at it.

Thumps were heard from the stairs and all the Weasley brothers came down for breakfast.

"What's wrong with mother?" Percy asked as he took a step into the cramped kitchen.

George shoved the paper into his face and everyone crowded around for a look. Bill whistled.

"You guys sure are bold." Charlie admired. "_The Weasley Twins Partake in Incest_, huh? I wonder what would happen if it leaks out that we're all shagging each other."

"I sure don't want to know," Percy said primly. "And I'd rather not find out."

Harry walked into the kitchen and said shyly, "Um… where's breakfast?"

He was still kind of embarrassed from yesterday when Mr. Weasley had found him in that state of undress, _masturbating_ of all things.

"Oh mums unconscious right now. Perhaps you should wait for tomorrow's breakfast." Fred drawled.

Arthur Weasley walked in at that moment only to find his wife on the ground and his children crowded around the _Daily Prophet_.

"Good morning." He said weakly, crouching down to check Molly's pulse. "What happened here?"

Fred shrugged and looked at George, who shrugged as well. They both answered at the same time, "We just got a free ad in the paper for our shop and mom just fainted in excitement." It was far from it, but they had to lie, considering.

"Let's see it, then!" Arthur smiled. Finally, something good happened. "What's so good about the advertisement that your mother had to faint of all things?"

Bill winced and passed him the _Daily Prophet_.

Arthur took a look at it. A few moments passed in silence. He just stared at it, as if misunderstanding what he was seeing. He looked up at the grinning real life twins and then looked back down.

His mouth dropped open. And he dropped the paper onto the floor. He turned around and started walking back up the stairs.

A few more moments of silence passed.

"So I take it that he liked it?" George asked.

A scream sounded from the parents' bedroom.

"No, I don't think so." Charlie gazed at the stairs.

"If I were him, I'd never show my face in public ever again…" Percy stooped down and picked the paper up from the floor. "You two sure outdid yourselves this time…"

Ron spoke, "I guess we're going to have to depend on the twins and Bill and Charlie for money and stuff. Dad's gonna get fired and mom's a housewife. Percy works in the Ministry so he's going to get fired as well. On the other hand, Fred and George, they have many fans and admirers. Those who are homophobic will still go in for the joke items, and those who support the homos, will buy more. There's no cons, really."

Harry walked out of the kitchen, wondering why his stay at the Burrow was crappier this year. Percy decided to finish his report anyways and Ron followed up with other things in mind. Bill and Charlie disappeared with a CRACK to who knows where.

"_The Weasley Twins were caught in an act of taboo yesterday._" Fred read from the paper. "'_This has got to be another hoax,' a witch told the reporter of the _Daily Prophet_, 'I saw the firewhiskey bottles right next to them. They were intoxicated!'… The two owners of the joke shop Weasley's Wizard Weazes were all over each other …'What would their parents say?' an outraged mother of thirteen said. 'They would _die _of shame!' … Anista Droguehorn predicted that the business will fall into ruins…_blah, blah, blah…"

"They sure have a lot to say about us." George stuck out his tongue.

"And this Anista Droguehorn is wrong. We're not going to lose business."

"Want to make out in front of the shop?"

"Sure."

* * *

Okay awesome. I just love the twins attitude towards this! On the other hand, The Percy/Ron is kinda weird and also, Harry/his hand is also weird. Have a good day!


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